In life many people can become “stuck in a rut”.
Not just others but ourselves as well. But what it is caused by and
who dug this nasty trench in the road of life?
The answer lies in understanding the nature of the formation
of our own self image, which is governed, generally, by others.
All people come into this world as innocent children,
and I’m sure as any parent would attest to, the children have
a basic nature and personality. That telling glimpse in the eye of
an infant is the give away. As the child grows he/she is influenced
by many factors. The major factor would probably be the people who
spend the most time with the child in those early years. Also the
influence of peers and society play an important role. Every minute
the person spends with these people, they are projecting onto them,
who “they” think the other person is, and especially in
the case of parents, who they want the child to be.
The projection of a parent onto the child, of whom the
parent wants the child to be, may not always be in line with who the
child wants to be, or even who society wants the child to be.
As the child grows they generally progress through life
living out all the projections they have received from others. In
the case of a person who is very strong or determined to find “happiness”,
they will often try everything and if they are lucky eventually find
who they truly are and achieve real “happiness” or fulfilment.
These people are rare and not worth thinking about because they don’t
need anyone’s help anyway. The people that are of interest for
the purpose of this article are the people that are “stuck in
a rut” and not happy, since this probably accounts for most
people.
So back to the original question, a person in a rut
is probably someone who has been living their lives in the way that
has been projected upon them by others since birth and not living
how they really want to be living. But living their lives in this
way will always create inner conflict which can often be perceived
by the observer in many ways. Such ways are listed below and not all
of them:
• Clear signs of dissatisfaction
• Low self esteem (can be expressed as over confidence)
• Bad health
• Depression
• Destructive habits like smoking, drug use, overeating etc.(no
body really, deep down wants to suffer)
How often have we heard other people say “who
would give me a job”, “no one would like someone like
me” ….. But then you get to know the person and they are
a kind, gentle, intelligent and funny person. It
is a complete paradox, you can see who they really are but they can’t
see it because they have been led to believe they are something else.
Look at our chronically unhealthy nation (Australia), sadly following
in the footsteps of America. Why do we now have problems with obesity
in children, who are these people trying to be.
But how is it possible to change this, make the person
start to see who they really are, and help them get moving on the
path of life. The answer is simple. We must deeply look at the person
and picture that person as they really are in our minds. This change
of our own inner perception can be the starting point of their change.
As we change our own inner perceptions, that person will start to
know they have support outside the rut. Even on a physical level,
the person will see it in our expressions and start to gain
self
confidence to move into the mould they really wants to
be in. You will be supporting them against everyone else who has been
binding them in the cage of their projected illusions.
The physical level is not the only level this occurs
on. It has been proven by quantum physicists that the act of observing
something changes it. Looking at an electron through a microscope
actually freezes its position in time and space and essentially creates
the electron. But really the electron doesn’t exist in any one
spot with any certainty; it is all a matter of probability. This is
not the place for a physics lesson, but if you wish to read further
then I recommend a book called “The Field” by Lynne McTaggart.
Or even just do a search on the Heisenberg
Principle.
So basically when we see something, we are not really
seeing something as it really is, because there is no such thing.
This can be observed through the ways in which people perceive the
same thing differently. As we look at something and give it a picture,
we actually help to create it.
Consider this. What would happen if a drunken person
walked in the room screaming obscenities at everyone, and everyone
looked at that person as a hurt person who needed some love, welcomed
that drunken person into the room and asked them what the problem
was. Now consider the drunk person did the same and everyone in the
room got scared or annoyed and told him he couldn’t swear in
the room and started being “authoritarian” with him. The
mans behaviour was possibly a result of some “authoritarian”
person in the past, and the pattern would just continue. The rut would
still remain.
Projecting onto a person can be tricky business. Are
we really seeing who the person wants to be? Or are we just seeing
another rut? Does the person like the rut they are in? Do they really
want to change?
The answer to these questions is also simple. Most people
have an idea of what they want to do next. This can be perceived in
subtle ways. The next thing they want to do may not be what they really
want to be doing and it may be just another projection from another
body, but it doesn’t matter. If that’s what the person
think is next, or that’s where they want to be, then so be it.
They may need to experience something different as a stepping stone.
They may need to try it in order to discover it is not really them.
Never the less it’s a ladder out of a rut, and most people know
what it is. It may not be perfect for them, and you may even know
this, but it doesn’t matter. As a teenager I did many things
which were not really “me”, but I chose to experience
them in order to “know for sure” that wasn’t what
I wanted. I needed to live out the projections of others, just to
prove to myself I didn’t like it. I desired the experiences.
So as a conclusion I feel the best we can do for others
is to look deep into the goodness of their hearts and try to find
out what the person really wants next. After discovering this, we
need to picture that person in that role, and give them all the encouragement
we can. Even if that role doesn’t seem possible to us, that
is our own perception of the situation and we should not project it
onto others. Instead we should believe anything is possible. We should
start to create the situation for that person by creating an image
of it in our own minds. Why not start with ourselves. Try it and see.
8th of July, 2006
